"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
Most of you have come to realize that I am not going to blog every week like some of my friends. So here is my monthly/bi-monthly message.
I've always been independent. I like to be in control, and when things are beyond the point where I can do something about them, I freak out. Here is a verse that God gave me recently:
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you..." My friends tell me I always look very calm and peaceful. Wanna know why? Because I think about things so much that learning to school my emotions was necessary. But because I grapple with things inside, peace comes in fits and spurts. But God wants us to have peace ALL the time, no matter what we are going through.
"Let not your heart be troubled..." Megan's heart goes where the wind takes it. I "have a heart" for so many causes I often have a hard time figuring out which one most needs my attention. I get hurt easily. I guess that's why part of my favourite verse is "…God is the strength of my heart…" (Psalm 73:26a) My own heart isn’t always very strong.
"...neither let it be afraid." Courage in the face of danger isn't my problem...it's the little things. I am afraid my life won't have the adventure I crave. I am afraid I won’t have enough money to pay for university. I am afraid I won’t get to do what I want here in Senegal. I am afraid I blew my chance at getting a World Vision internship. But I was talking to a friend the other day on MSN and he said, "There's no way you could blow it if God wants you there." (Thanks Robin Hood) I keep having to remind myself of that. He has a plan and nothing I do can mess it up. This was confirmed even more the other day when another friend gave me a copy of his message from chapel (thank you Belle'). It was on Jeremiah 29:11-13. I memorized verse 13 a little while ago, but verse 11 is the one that is reassuring me right now:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
The hope part came Friday night when I talked to Valerie, a lady who is researching for her Masters degree here for a few months. She told me there were tons of NGOs here that would jump at the chance to let me volunteer with them. I would prefer getting a job, but if I can get enough volunteer experience to earn the Social Justice and Peace scholarship (4 years tuition) that will be far more helpful than however little I could earn this year. And Valerie also said that even just being here already gives me a leg up from the other applicants. So I'm hoping and trusting and trying to take it one day at a time when all I really want to do is jump in a time machine and see how it all turns out.
God is in control.
I don't have to be.
Thank you to all you guys in Canada who have been faithfully (or even sporadically) emailing me and checking this blog. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I miss you but SENEGAL ROCKS! (Do I have to come back in June? Don't kill me Sammie, I'm just kidding.)
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